Yes, I'd like some cheese to go with this whine.

You know, as an unpublished writer struggling to get published, I'm not sure there is anything in the world more demoralizing than stumbling across the news that Lauren Conrad has published a novel. I'm sure the "novel" is crap, that it probably has as much substance as Cool Whip, and that she didn't actually write it. But still, the indignant, elitist snob in me wants to scream from the rooftops about how unfair it all is. That she already has ten bajillion dollars in the bank, her own clothing line, her own television show, a cute actor boyfriend, and a stint on Family Guy. Can't she stay out of the book world?

I sort of feel similarly to when Jessica Simpson started dating John Mayer. Why do the blond, Hollywood girls have to cross over into regular, smart girl territory? I want to put a big "KEEP OUT" sign or pee around the borders.

And it's not just a "novel." Mrs Bobby Newman apparently has a three book deal. Three books. Uno, dos, tres. Now Lauren Conrad gets to call herself an "author." It actually says that on her Wikipedia entry. "Author." I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

They say the publishing industry is in trouble, but wouldn't it have been more economical for them not to shell out the cash for Lauren Conrad to have a ghostwriter, and actually spend the money on publishing one or two quality, albeit non-celebrity, authors?

I think this is the part where I stop whining about literary injustices and get back to work on my own dissertation.